The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts is a book by Gary Chapman with an invaluable message: that humans communicate love using five distinct “languages”. We each have a different primary love language, and we feel most loved when love is expressed to us in that language. Conversely, relationships falter not necessarily […]
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What Makes a Love Last?
January 22, 2013 
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For a new love to last is nothing short of remarkable. Love might be conceived in an instant, but its gestation takes time and is fraught. For a zygotic love to go to full term is exceptional – far more loves miscarry than don’t. What forces might affect the prospects of a new relationship? I’d […]
Read more “s.e.x.”, Heather Corinna: Sex, Relationships, Sexual Health
January 6, 2013 0 Comments
Heather Corinna’s s.e.x. first came to my attention thanks to sex columnist Dan Savage’s Savage Love from September 12. s.e.x.‘s absurdly long subtitle makes a strong case: “the all-you-need-to-know progressive sexuality guide to get you through high school and college”. Now, I’m through high school and largely through the Australian equivalent of college (or at […]
Read more How the Language of Love Limits Relationships
November 13, 2012 2 Comments
Some time ago a droll thing happened to me. A friend said of a couple known to us, “they don’t really act like a couple.” At the time, this friend and I were having dinner, just the two of us. Just before, we had a go together on a set of swings. As our night […]
Read more Just Between You And Me, this Book on Relationships isn’t Very Good
November 7, 2012 0 Comments
I found Just Between You and Me while browsing a bookstore, something I rarely do. This is perhaps unusual for somebody who reads alot, but I find browsing a fruitless exercise. I’d much rather base my reading decisions on friends’ recommendations or, ideally, recommendations implicit in other texts, such as when one book refers to […]
Read more On Physical Affection in all Sorts of Relationships
October 20, 2012 0 Comments
I’m a pretty tactile guy. I find touch deeply nourishing. Being touched makes me feel good, makes me feel better, makes me feel loved. But I’m not huge on the established structures for relationships. Which makes things interesting, as these structures are pretty firm on what sorts of touch are allowed in what contexts. I’ve […]
Read more On Love and Loss
August 14, 2012 65 Comments
(For background listening: Jeff Beck, ‘Cause We’ve Ended As Lovers’) In bed one night, I tried to remember an old girlfriend’s mobile number and could not. There had been a time when her entry in my address book had extra ‘a’s to make it easier to find in my phone, when I would dial her […]
Read moreOn Symbolic Communication amidst Romance
July 4, 2012 1 Comment
Communication is at the core of human relationships and symbolism is at the core of communication. However, while symbolism is crucial to communicating abstract concepts, symbolic communication is more likely than ‘literal’ communication that is free of symbolism to result in misunderstanding. The significance of symbolism as a factor in miscommunication in relationships cannot be […]
Read more “The Ethical Slut”, Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy: Polyamory and Polyamorous Relationships
May 23, 2012 1 Comment
Dossie Easton’s and Janet Hardy’s The Ethical Slut: A practical guide to polyamory, open relationships, and other adventures is a book I read when I was too young for it. As I recall, at the time the person I borrowed it from was living in a small place in Seaview, so I can date the […]
Read more On Love as an Artform
May 18, 2012 1 Comment
For a while, I didn’t get art. It boggled me. You see, I am a person who expresses themselves most fragrantly in spoken words, slightly less so written ones, aptly through music, decently through dance, poorly through cooking, and, Pictionary successes notwithstanding, abysmally through visual art. So when it came to art I wondered what […]
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