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Past Lust

It was one of the most intimate experiences of my life. When she arrived we’d both already eaten dinner, so we made a self-saucing pudding together. While it baked we watched a documentary, our bodies close together on a couch. Soon, our dessert was ready. There really is something about baking. I can honestly say […]

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“Will love tear us apart?”: Game? Song? Artwork?

http://willlovetearusapart.com is not fairly described as a “game”. Nor is it an “artwork” as we think of them. Perhaps it is best called an “experience”: an experience of exploring the artist’s response to Joy Division’s “Love will tear us apart” by interacting with a game. Will love tear us apart creates a simulacrum of a […]

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me wearing only a towel, but it covers most my body.

Content in the Body

This is a curious thing to say, but I rather like my body. It has been quite good to me. In 2012 my feet took my hundreds of kilometres from Port Augusta to Adelaide. They complained a bit, they griped, but they obligingly, companionably, took me all the distance. My legs served me well during […]

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What’s “love” got to do with it?

On May 6, 2010, Savage Love featured a letter from “Transitions and Crossroads.” The writer asked about her prospects with a guy who wanted to reevaluate the relationship. “I can’t say that I’m sure I’m in love with him”, she wrote, “but I do know that we thoroughly enjoy each other’s company and miss each […]

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a picture of freshly-cooked vegan cinnamon scrolls

On pairing and repairing

She and I woke up a couple of hours ago. Most of our morning so far was spent in bed, not cavorting but caressing. Tenderly, lovingly, longingly. I’m now languidly preparing breakfast. A third person joins us and comments on some baked buns, the fruit of last night’s culinary labours. I thank them and considering […]

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a pizza oven with embers burning

“The 5 Love Languages”, Gary Chapman: Making Love Felt

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts is a book by Gary Chapman with an invaluable message: that humans communicate love using five distinct “languages”. We each have a different primary love language, and we feel most loved when love is expressed to us in that language. Conversely, relationships falter not necessarily […]

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a picture of a grape growing on the vine, like a love, one that will hopefully last!

What Makes a Love Last?

For a new love to last is nothing short of remarkable. Love might be conceived in an instant, but its gestation takes time and is fraught. For a zygotic love to go to full term is exceptional – far more loves miscarry than don’t. What forces might affect the prospects of a new relationship? I’d […]

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“s.e.x.”, Heather Corinna: Sex, Relationships, Sexual Health

Heather Corinna’s s.e.x. first came to my attention thanks to sex columnist Dan Savage’s Savage Love from September 12. s.e.x.‘s absurdly long subtitle makes a strong case: “the all-you-need-to-know progressive sexuality guide to get you through high school and college”. Now, I’m through high school and largely through the Australian equivalent of college (or at […]

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How the Language of Love Limits Relationships

Some time ago a droll thing happened to me. A friend said of a couple known to us, “they don’t really act like a couple.” At the time, this friend and I were having dinner, just the two of us. Just before, we had a go together on a set of swings. As our night […]

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Just Between You And Me, this Book on Relationships isn’t Very Good

I found Just Between You and Me while browsing a bookstore, something I rarely do. This is perhaps unusual for somebody who reads alot, but I find browsing a fruitless exercise. I’d much rather base my reading decisions on friends’ recommendations or, ideally, recommendations implicit in other texts, such as when one book refers to […]

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