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me wearing only a towel, but it covers most my body.

Content in the Body

This is a curious thing to say, but I rather like my body. It has been quite good to me. In 2012 my feet took my hundreds of kilometres from Port Augusta to Adelaide. They complained a bit, they griped, but they obligingly, companionably, took me all the distance. My legs served me well during […]

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What’s “love” got to do with it?

On May 6, 2010, Savage Love featured a letter from “Transitions and Crossroads.” The writer asked about her prospects with a guy who wanted to reevaluate the relationship. “I can’t say that I’m sure I’m in love with him”, she wrote, “but I do know that we thoroughly enjoy each other’s company and miss each […]

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a picture of freshly-cooked vegan cinnamon scrolls

On pairing and repairing

She and I woke up a couple of hours ago. Most of our morning so far was spent in bed, not cavorting but caressing. Tenderly, lovingly, longingly. I’m now languidly preparing breakfast. A third person joins us and comments on some baked buns, the fruit of last night’s culinary labours. I thank them and considering […]

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a pizza oven with embers burning

“The 5 Love Languages”, Gary Chapman: Making Love Felt

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts is a book by Gary Chapman with an invaluable message: that humans communicate love using five distinct “languages”. We each have a different primary love language, and we feel most loved when love is expressed to us in that language. Conversely, relationships falter not necessarily […]

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a picture of a grape growing on the vine, like a love, one that will hopefully last!

What Makes a Love Last?

For a new love to last is nothing short of remarkable. Love might be conceived in an instant, but its gestation takes time and is fraught. For a zygotic love to go to full term is exceptional – far more loves miscarry than don’t. What forces might affect the prospects of a new relationship? I’d […]

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“s.e.x.”, Heather Corinna: Sex, Relationships, Sexual Health

Heather Corinna’s s.e.x. first came to my attention thanks to sex columnist Dan Savage’s Savage Love from September 12. s.e.x.‘s absurdly long subtitle makes a strong case: “the all-you-need-to-know progressive sexuality guide to get you through high school and college”. Now, I’m through high school and largely through the Australian equivalent of college (or at […]

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How the Language of Love Limits Relationships

Some time ago a droll thing happened to me. A friend said of a couple known to us, “they don’t really act like a couple.” At the time, this friend and I were having dinner, just the two of us. Just before, we had a go together on a set of swings. As our night […]

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Just Between You And Me, this Book on Relationships isn’t Very Good

I found Just Between You and Me while browsing a bookstore, something I rarely do. This is perhaps unusual for somebody who reads alot, but I find browsing a fruitless exercise. I’d much rather base my reading decisions on friends’ recommendations or, ideally, recommendations implicit in other texts, such as when one book refers to […]

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On Physical Affection in all Sorts of Relationships

I’m a pretty tactile guy. I find touch deeply nourishing. Being touched makes me feel good, makes me feel better, makes me feel loved. But I’m not huge on the established structures for relationships. Which makes things interesting, as these structures are pretty firm on what sorts of touch are allowed in what contexts. I’ve […]

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On Love and Loss

(For background listening: Jeff Beck, ‘Cause We’ve Ended As Lovers’) In bed one night, I tried to remember an old girlfriend’s mobile number and could not. There had been a time when her entry in my address book had extra ‘a’s to make it easier to find in my phone, when I would dial her […]

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